Delivery Man

Released on November 22, 2013 0 comments

Vince Vaughn should have been better, or at the very least, been much more – “money.”

The guy who emerged white hot in “Swingers,” has failed to pan out, which at this point has to be blamed as much on himself as on bad management or cruddy scripts.

We’d like to believe the talent is still there, waiting for the right project to finally come through, after years of playing one-note slackers. Even a small sampling of his recent resume is cringe-worthy: “The Internship,” “The Watch,” “The Dilemma,” “Fred Claus.” His last flick of note was 2005’s “Wedding Crashers,” and while it had its moments, it was too long and deeply overrated. We will admit to a guilty pleasure when it comes to “DodgeBall,” but we also admit it isn’t Academy material.

This week he’s back as what else? A slacker delivery man in, not kidding here, “Delivery man.” At least the town isn’t losing its touch when it comes to titles for tards.

But the moniker doesn’t come close to explaining how repulsively bad and unfunny this steaming pile truly is. Seems this version of the Vaughn lame-ass dropped his seed at a sperm bank years back during a drunken haze. Seems there was a mix up and he ended up being the bio father of over 500 kids, who are all now in their early 20’s or so. Are you on board yet? It gets worse. In his meager attempt to grow up and grow a pair, Vaughn decides he will look in on some of the kids and become a mentor/adult figure in their lives.

Many have used the loveable losers as a career starter, like Sean Penn did with Spicoli. Matthew McConaughey played a legendary slacker in “Dazed And Confused.” These days he’s playing a drug dealer dying of AIDS. Vaughn would have been better served moving down a similar path, instead of barely showing up to steal money for repeatedly playing the same clown. No matter how the creativity killers try and spin Delivery Man, there’s nothing touching about Vaughn or his performance, which at this point is truly sad.

This mess doesn’t even go downhill, it jumps off the cliff about 5 minutes in. We don’t think it’s worth 14 bucks to take the plunge with it.