Escape Plan

Released on October 18, 2013 3 comments

We were all ready to jump on Robert Redford’s latest fiasco about a man lost at sea on a leaky boat. (A clunky metaphor for his current career standing.)

Then we realized we’ve got a solid-looking blood and guts mash up staring a pair of good/bad superstars.

In a prison no less.

“Escape Plan,” is every bit as absurd as it looks, but that’s alright because unlike Redford, Stallone and Ah-nold stopped taking themselves and their status seriously years ago. Very good for us because we get garbage we can make fun of every six months or so.

Stallone is some kind of prison break expert who gets double-crossed and turned into a real convict before being tossed into the world’s foremost, inescapable fortress. The holding areas are actually glass containment boxes, stacked together like go-go dancer cubes, all the better for the masochistic, black-masked guards to keep an eye on the felon flock. The Warden is Jim Caviezel, the smoldering tough guy from TV’s “Person Of Interest.”

Schwarzenegger is an aging convict who recruits to Stallone to help bust him out, promising to kill him if he isn’t successful.

For those who don’t remember, “Plan” is a redo of another Stallone flick from years ago. 1989’s “Lock Up” also had Sly flexing his biceps for a non-sympathetic gatekeeper. Despite the intent to play to Stallone’s audience with a tale of a forgotten man forced to wage a Herculean struggle against a superior force, the result instead turned Maudlin and flat, a weak effort all around.

This is much the same, with better set decoration. Having said that, there are worse ways to kill a few hours, and brain cells.

  1. Nick Hill says:

    Considering the casting, the studio should have put together a film with Jesus battling Rambo and The Terminator.

  2. Zach says:

    I actually really enjoyed this movie. I liked the movie for the same reason Aerosmith is a better band than the Eagles. Or why The Avengers is better than Dances With Wolves. The general populace doesn’t give an iota of critique about if the guitar, drums, vocals, screenplay, acting, or story is perfect. They just care if it sounds good or if it’s entertaining because most people do not pick up on or expect perfection in almost every aspect of life. Robert Reford is a great actor that’s been in a vast variety of movies. I would say my favorite was Jeremiah Johnson. A good reviewer always looks past his own bias and simply reviews the movie and not the actors that are in the movie. All that being said, this was a horrible review and everyone should completely ignore all that blather I am replying to.

    • admin says:

      Perfect is never a word we would associate with Stallone or Arnold. However we find much of their work entertaining and they are in the GoodBad Hall Of fame on this site. For more proof, find our review on Bullet To The Head, which was universally panned by the media trough destroyers, but we thought was great.