You’re Next

Released on August 23, 2013 0 comments

It took most of the summer, but we’ve finally got a popcorn offering worthy of our praise.

Horror flicks used to be a serious staple for the editors at Good/Bad until about 20 years ago, when like everything else they moved away from semi-concise fright nights and turned into masochistic thumb-suckers for lame tards. Seems every brand these days either revolves around apparitional hauntings, or is nothing more than a how-to on horrendous ways to torture and kill stupid people.

What has been lacking over the years is the clearly delineated homicidal freak. Hard to top Jason and his hockey mask, or our personal favorite Michael Myers, with his white-washed hood and coveralls. Then again, covering one’s face is not a prerequisite. One of the best Slashers ever was in the early 80’s “Slumber Party Massacre,” a killer who resembled a wilting math teacher and who decapitated semi-nude high school girls with a massive power drill. Think Walter White with a tool belt – an Alpha-Male for the ages.

Gratuitous? You bet.

This week “You’re Next” drops onto our undernourished screens. The story begins right our of Normal Rockwell when a family comes together for an anniversary celebration. Then the fun begins, as their gathering is invaded by a bunch of hell-benders out to slice and dice the happy reunion using toys like cross bows, shotguns and axes.

Did we mention the baddies are wearing animal masks? (The lamb is especially well-done.) These grill-covering disguises give our killers a comical underpinning while lending the proceedings a generous dose of gallow laughs.

We freely admit that everything about this flick looks troubled and preposterously contrived. No matter. It’s about time we had a good ol’ big screen bloody mess, instead of the bloated, mind-numbing summer turds we’ve had to endure over the past few months.

Nothing like a romping Slasher flick to restore our faith in Hollywood humanity.