Hangover 3

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The empty calories come at us hard this weekend. Bad enough we’ve got Fast and Spurious 6, but we also have to deal with another Hangover as well. Both are miserable excuses for manhood.

Having already smacked FF6 around, (See The Loud Dry Summer,) we’ll concentrate this week’s shots on the she-males of Hangover fame, once again pirouetting through Las Vegas in a moronic stupor before slinking home to their disapproving wives.

We’ve don’t have much problem with Bradley Cooper. He may be a bit underwhelming and tepid for A-List status, but seems like a decent enough dude. Problem is Cooper’s goodwill and decency are stretched far too thin yet again by the flustered foursome of Ed Helms, Zack Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, and the hideously annoying Ken Jeong, four of the most wanting wimps the male species has ever spit out.

The Hangover series is built around the belief that a healthy marriage must employ a certain amount of deception. The so-called men are too afraid to stand up to their ball-busting wives, women who have lost faith in these spineless prigs masquerading as dudes. Here’s a concept: If there’s such a huge problem in the Union, then deal with it or move on. Instead of that, couples hide behind the overused and tired excuse of “staying together for the kids,” or whatever else is handy, before taking to medicating themselves with booze, food, vicodin or affairs.

Hangover number 3 will be as pathetic as the first two, offering another road map of how to live life in a constant state of fear and compromise.