Iron Man 3

Released on May 3, 2013 1 comment

2013’s season of discontent officially begins this weekend with the release of “Iron Man 3.”

Despite the fact that none of these movies have been any good – due to lousy villains and Robert Downey’s smarmy take on Billionaire tool Tony Stark – the franchise has become an obnoxious juggernaut. Which is why it’s on 4000 screens and the next largest opening of the weekend is on a mere 20.

With a release like this the other studio toads shield their best stuff and run for cover. Imagine, cowering in the presence of some pansy in metal spanx.

Look, we’ll admit we still feel a boyish tug when it comes to Superheroes, after all we grew up with these guys. Then we hit the age of 10, took notice of girls, and sort of grew up. Not necessarily in that order.

The nitwits that make up this audience are your basic, emotionally undernourished gamers. The release of a flick like this is a seminal event, one they’ve likely planned their lives around months in advance.
Because they have nothing better to do, they’ll go see it two or three times, and it will make a fortune.

As for us, the beach is looking pretty good.

  1. Nancy says:

    “Pansy in metal spanks”….LOL, now that’s funny!