G.i. Joe: Retaliation

Released on March 28, 2013 0 comments

The weak sequels of summer begin arriving a bit early this weekend, thanks to the idiots foisting another GI Joe on us.

Channing Tatum, our favorite half-wit, is back in his umpteenth appearance of the young year, proving not only that the town has no guts, but no imagination either. Tatum continues to be an industry darling and a critical joke. If you want to see his best work, go to Youtube and check out “Step Up – The Farting Version.”

Baldie Bruce Willis is floating around as well, now firmly esconsed in the creepy cadre of dimished former super stars who can’t seem to grasp how silly they look showing up in children’s movies, or, in Brucie’s case, showing up in anything. It’s almost as pathetic as when he trudged behind former wife Demi Moore and then boy-toy Ashton Kutcher on the red carpet for one of her movies, desperately hoping someone in the media would throw him a bone, or worse yet, notice him at all.

Meanwhile, we’ve got The Rock and a few others to round out the diologue spitters, though we don’t expect much of anything memorable from this carton of empty calories.