Resident Evil: Retribution

Released on September 14, 2012 0 comments

Because we’re over the age of 30, we can freely admit to loving our ladies in leather Cat suits. The appreciation started back when we were jumping around in playpens, taking in an eyeful of Dianna Rigg’s Emma Peel on an old black and white Zenith. More recently, we’ve had lovelies like Halle Berry and Kate Beckensale gearing up in the clingy onesies. The movies sucked but no one was paying for character arcs.

The same can be expected from Resident Evil V, though there is a glimmer as Milla Jovovich is once again in costume. She must have a picture of an aging woman in her closet, because she doesn’t look much older than she did back when she first caught everyone’s attention in “Dazed And Confused.” (That was 20 years ago.) Despite her looks, Jovovich has never caught on as a front-liner, enduring in ill-conceived tripe like “The Fifth Element” and “The Messenger.” None of which matters because with a face like hers there will always be another B-level production, Cat suit or not.

Too bad there aren’t a few more like her in this one as the rest of the cast is pretty basic.

Though in fairness, (yes we are capable at times,) we haven’t seen one frame of the Resident Evils, not even on cable, so we have no reference for ridicule or comparison, not that they’re our cup of java anyway. We do know is RE 2012 is helmed by Paul W.S. Anderson, not to be confused with Paul Thomas Anderson, another long-winded director with a pretentious name. While Paul Thomas makes head-scratching movies that never seem to end (“Magnolia,” “There Will Be Blood,”) Paul W.S. sticks to his comfort zone, which appears to be live-action video games.

Good for him and the lovely Ms. Jovovich, keeping the franchise kicking, worthy or not.